Mischief Level: Max

MISCHIEF LEVEL: MAX

Story arc: Brave Police

*****

It was a quiet morning at the HQ. The kind that McCrane really wished he had more often so he could put more of a dent in the never-ending pile of paperwork on his desk. A pile that seemed bigger than when he'd left it last night…

"Power Joe, quit putting your paperwork in my pile."

"Darn it. Almost got away with it." Mumbled the excavator in question. "I mean … gee, wonder how that happened."

"Busted." Grinned Drill Boy.

"I'm going to respond to that in a mature fashion." Power Joe then stuck his tongue out at the youngest of the Build Team.

McCrane sat down and was about to get to work when Gunmax darted in grinning like the Cheshire cat. He quickly ran to his computer and opened a program.

"Guys, I need your undivided attention for a few seconds. Watch the door as our illustrious leader walks in." With that Gunmax began playing a song through the speakers on his computer.

"…My blood runs cold
Yeah, my memory has just been sold
My angel is the centerfold
Angel is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
Oh yeah, angel is the centerfold

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na…"

"GUNMAX! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" boomed the voice of the leader of the Brave Police.

All optics turned to the door and almost immediately the squad burst into laughter. Deckerd was dressed in a schoolgirl uniform, complete with a shoulder-length curly brown wig. He also looked angry enough to chew through titanium.

Gunmax, signature lopsided grin on his face, simply commented. "Admit it. It looks rather slimming on you and you've got the legs for it, baby." Gunmax slowly started sidling towards the door.

Without warning Deckerd lunged at Gunmax, clearly intending to throttle the green mech. Unfortunately, Gunmax managed to dodge the attack, tripping Deckerd in the process and sending him flying into Duke, who had just entered the room. Papers went flying everywhere and the two mechs ended up on the floor, Deckerd landing on top of Duke.

"Ooh la la. Duke, you charmer." Gunmax taunted. Laughing hysterically Gunmax darted out of the room and to the garage before Deckerd could get back on his feet. Duke could only stare wide-eyed at his leader.

"Don't ask." Deckerd growled as he pushed himself upright. "McCrane, tell the commissioner that we're going to need a new highway patrol mech."

"Dare I ask why?" McCrane said, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Because there won't enough of Gunmax left for spare parts when I'm done with him."
The brave detective then stomped off to his room to try and remove the offending costume that Gunmax had managed to dress him in.

Duke was still sitting on the floor. "That felt so wrong." He muttered, still traumatized.

***

Later that day…

"This is getting out of hand. Okay, pranking the boss like that was … well… it was epic." Power Joe cringed as he received a withering look from Deckerd. The kind that, if looks could kill, Power Joe would have been incinerated ten minutes ago. "But anyway, the rest weren't funny. Except for McCrane nearly squealing like a girl."

"No argument." Dumpson said through clenched teeth, still trying to reach the 'Honk at me' sign attached to his back.

McCrane shook his head. "So we all agree. We have to do something about Gunmax."

"Agreed." answered the rest of the team.

"Alright. Operation: Late Night Excitement commences at twenty-one hundred. We just have to wait for Drill Boy to finish picking feathers out of his armor."

"And for Shadowmaru to finish moping about the doggie collar incident." Power Joe added.

"Exactly." McCrane then carefully checked his desk for any more spring loaded snakes. He then happened to glance up. "He didn't get you yet did he?"

"Uuuhhhhh… yeah he did."

"Scary maze?"

"Scary maze. And he got the reaction on camera."

***

Gunmax returned to his quarters that night still grinning like a fool. What a day. He'd successfully managed to prank every single member of the Brave Police. Deckerd still had the most spectacular one of them all but he had to admit the others were just as good.

Dumpson had received the twist on the timeless classic 'kick me' sign. McCrane got a desk full of springy snakes and Power Joe got the scary maze. Drill Boy had been a little more elaborate with Gunmax tricking him into doing the chicken dance and then dumping a bucket of glue and feathers on the little orange twerp. Shadowmaru had been a little tougher, since getting close enough to the ninja was near impossible in any event. Surprising him with that glittery dog collar was priceless. Initially Gunmax had thought about not pranking Duke since the knight detective had already been traumatized. Then Gunmax had finally gotten a little help from one of Duke's former teammates back in England. Duke was then treated to an afternoon of Monty Python nonsense.

Memo to self:, Gunmax thought as he lay down on his bed, arms folded behind his head, Thank Rook for that tip.

Best of all he'd got it all on camera. Ultimate blackmail.

***

"Is that bugger asleep yet?" Duke whispered.

"I'm surprised you wanted in on this, Knight." Commented Power Joe.

"You try listening to Monty Python all afternoon and see how you feel afterwards."

"I thought it was funny." Piped in Drill Boy.

"Shhhhh!" Shadowmaru hushed. "His energy signature just dropped, he's in recharge."

"Let's do this." Grinned Dumpson, "You first, boss."

Deckerd slipped past his team and into Gunmax's room.

***

The office was unusually quiet the next morning despite all of the Brave Police being there. All seven sets of optics were either on the clock or the door, patiently waiting for their missing comrade to emerge from his room.

"You sure he's going to come out?" asked Drill Boy.

Duke grinned, turning a can of paint remover over in his hands. "If he wants this he will."

"This is going to be the best prank ever." Chortled Power Joe.

The sound of approaching footsteps caught the attention of all the Brave Police.
Gunmax entered the room.

The biker cop had been repainted a bright hot Barbie pink with the appropriate shade of red paint on his lips. To finish the look a frilly pink and white tutu had been glued to Gunmax's waist and a glittery rainbow ribbon had been tied to his antenna.

"I will murder all of you." Growled Gunmax.

"Or you can just accept that pranking all of us was a bad idea and you got what was coming to you." Deckerd said coolly, arms folded over his chest.

Gunmax stalked over to Duke, snatched the can of paint remover, gave a dismissive snort and stalked out of the room.

"Just wait until he sees what Dumpson and I did to his precious bike." McCrane smirked.

Moments later long howl of dismay and anguish echoes down the hall.

A round of high-fives went around the Build Team.